No more blogger?

Yes, I am going to move myself over to my freewebs site. I think it's better to have everything in one place- at least that's what I'm thinking. I know you are all probably ready to kick my butt since I'm moving my site... again... but hopefully this should be it as long as all goes as well as it has over there so far. Here's the link & hope to see you there!

http://www.freewebs.com/jewel35/

I am very happy to say that I went online today to see if my grades for the semester had been posted and I did pretty well:

History of NJ: B
Technology and the Young Child: A
Disabled Person in American Society: A-
GPA for semester: 3.567
Cumulative GPA: 3.474

It's not straight A's (sadly I've only had them once in college & never in elementary school) but considering what I have been dealing with over the past semester and year in this new university, I think I did pretty well. I am running short on classes to take before I finally get myself in gear and admitted into the education program. Next semester I am only taking one class, Psychology of Adolecence, on Saturday mornings from 9 am to 11:40 am. I think that with the baby coming it'll be good to keep myself going (if I stop I know it'll be hard to get back into it) but I do not want to take night classes since I'll be breastfeeding and need to be there for her at bedtime. Plus it won't interfere with my daycare plans during the week either.

Though I haven't really made any progress in actually starting my daycare venture, I have purchased a few books from Amazon to get myself organized and have an idea of how to run one. I wish I had decided to take a busiess class or something so that I'll feel a little more comfortable but I think that the books will explain what I can claim as far as taxes, how to make professional contracts, how to handle certain situations, how to assure a healthy environment, & all kinds of other information that will be really useful. Hopefully I'll have my books shortly & I'll be able to start planning & figuring things out.

Today was a busy day for me. I spent nearly all day trying to finish up in the nusery. I started around 10 this morning & didn't come out until nearly 6 pm! I have nearly all of the stripes painted on the room~ actually the base stripes are done, I just need to finish the pinstripes on 4 of the boxes before that's all done. That will be a relief. I can't wait to finish the room. I'm almost 31 weeks already (OMG~ our baby is due in 9 weeks & 3 days!!!) and I want to get it ready in case she decides to come early :)

Speaking of the baby :) I heard a new name that I think I really like~ suprisingly enough I heard it on the finale of "Will & Grace". Kevin & I have been leaning towards Meredith Anne (Anne is mine & my mom's middle name) but now I kinda like Lila (pronounced Lie-la) Anne. Our last name is Bacon (sucky name, I know... and for those of you that don't know my husband is Kevin Bacon) so it's hard to figure something that goes nice with it. I've said Lila about 100,000,000 times since I started to think about it yesterday. It's growing on me... I still like Meredith but I'm not going to say anything definate until I see her little face.

Ok, well I better get to bed. It feels like I should be in alien w/the way the baby is trying to push her way out through my belly button tonight & I am SO tired from working in her room all day! Hope you are all having a nice weekend & I am slowly but surely trying to catch up w/everyone's blogs!

Good Night!
~Kristina

I have such great internet friends :)

I want to thank all of you guys for being so supportive and listening to my stress filled rants and vents during this stressful time. I think it is so nice to get such great comments and feedback from everyone. It makes me feel really good that you all listen to me and I just want you to know I appreciate it so much! Like Brittny said, it stinks that we all live so far apart b/c sometimes I think how cool it would be if we could all just go out for some drinks or dinner? That could be fun!

As usual I've had a stressful and busy week. On Saturday Kevin & I had our baby basics class and breastfeeding class. I had a lot to think about but I really wanted to be able to enjoy and get the most out of these classes so I "forgot" about everything for the day. The baby basics class was from 10 am -1 pm and we both really liked it a lot. We were given little baby dolls and taught to swaddle, diaper, and hold the baby as well as how to take care of the umbilical stump, how to know if she's eaten enough, bathing, and just basic care of newborn. All that it really managed to do was make me walk out of there & want my baby now! LOL It was pretty funny to watch Kevin with the doll though. He's such a "manly man" that I think he felt a little embarrassed even though everyone else was doing the same things. I've actually never seen him in the 8 years that we've been together, OMG 8 years already!?!, hold a baby~ even a fake one lol. It was cute. I can't wait to see him hold our little girl. It's really exciting. We had a little break in between classes so we went home since we live so close and had lunch before heading back to the breastfeeding class. That one went from 2:30 pm - 5:30 pm but we actually got out a little early (at like 5ish). The class had only 3 women in it, including me, and Kevin! I was surprised that no other men decided to come and support their wives. Kevin knows how important it is to me and knew it was best to be there. The teacher was the same woman that taught our first class that morning and she was VERY nice. Kevin got teased quite a bit since he was the only man there, but he did really well. I could tell he was bored even though you'd think the topic of boobs would keep him interested. All in all I was really glad that we took those classes and that I've learned as much as I did in them. I want my baby now though LOL :)

Sunday was my first Mother's Day! Kevin surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a really sweet card. I got a call from my MIL too saying that she went crazy at Kohl's and bought a bunch of clothes for the baby. My shower is coming up (it's a surprise so I don't know when...) so I told her to wait but she can't. Honestly I'm surprised that she has held off this far. This is her first actual grandchild since neither of her other children have kids. Kevin's dad has grandkids from the children from his previous marriage but they aren't close to them, so he's extremely excited too. At this point I'm just glad to accept whatever I get from them- it is nice to have the help and to know they love the baby already.

Tuesday we went to our 2nd lamaze class. I have to admit that I'm pretty disappointed with this one. Maybe it's the instructor though... she is SO boring. I feel like we are back in elementary school. Every time we come in she has us do work out of the book; crossword puzzles, word finds, blah blah blah! You'd think that we would do a lot of practice learning the breathing techniques and massage techniques, but we spend most of the class listening to her read from the book and than the last 20 mins of class is actually practice. Kevin was killing me b/c I know he's not so interested in it either. It's not his fault and not that he's not supportive because he really is... it's just we actually dread going to this class on Tuesdays. The three hours go sooo slowly. I just hope that I've gotten enough out of this class to make it through labor with out killing myself lol. I do plan on having some medication but I'd like to try to go as long as I can with out it. Once I get an epidural I'm stuck in bed and who knows how long that would be since they slow down labor. It's so scary and the more I learn about it I think the more scared it get!

So you are all probably wondering what, if any, decision I've decided as far as the money issue/child care/job issue goes. I talked to my boss on Monday & told her that I don't think I'll be able to come back to work after my leave. I explained to her the financial reasons and that I just can't afford to work there anymore. She was very supportive and understanding & said she knows I just have to do what is right for my family. She is a young (28) single mom too so she understands being in bad situations and having to do things that are so difficult. I cried a little and apologized a lot. As much as I sometimes dislike my job, I've been there for 3 years this August and it's hard to make such a major decision. Kevin and I have talked and I'm thinking that once I go over all of our finances and have a better idea of what kind of debt we are in that we might take some money from his parents to cover a few bills and we will probably be getting rid of his truck since we can' afford the payments. It looks as though I will be starting my own in-house daycare after the baby comes. I'd like to try and wait until she is about 3 months old before I expose her to so many kids, not to mention it would give us more time to get the house ready for all those kids... so let me just say that I am terrified of what the future might hold. I am going to start preparing myself to register myself with the state as a daycare provider so that everything can be legal and I can do it the right way.

Ok, well, I better go. Dateline is on and I have to watch it. These crazy guys on "To Catch a Predator" need to go to jail!!! Hope everyone else is well :)

~Kristina

I have a new website!

I got sick of trying to update my cheesy tripod website & now I have a new one! It's not done~ yet, but I am working on it & hopefully soon it'll be done. If you're bored, take a look!

My new website

~~Ok, I've tried to post this damn thing like 3 times now.. If it doesn't work again look check my links on the side because I'm getting annoyed with this blogger! lol

Lots to think about...

Tonight I had my 29 week appointment and I also did my 1 hour glucose test again. So at 5:00 on my way home from work I had to drink my orange glucola drink. The positive thing about having had the drink at 5 o'clock was that she had to take me at 6:00 so I didn't have to sit around & wait to see her. The drink really isn't that bad so I didn't mind much. I've heard that the fruit punch flavored drink is pretty nasty though so I've been happy to have had the orange both times. I went in and she weighed me... and I gained.... a lot... in the last 2 weeks.. grrrrr. My doctor still hasn't said anything about it so I guess it's ok. I will definately go over my 35 lb max... I'm already nearly there and due just over 10 weeks! Hopefully my weight gain will slow down a bit but with my cravings for sweets (and my lack of will power) and the fact that the baby will be growing a lot over the next two months I don't think that will really happen. Anyway, so my doctor drew my blood and said she'd let me know tomorrow how I did since her other location has gotten a lab corp computer & she'll be able to look up my results on her own rather than wait for the reports. Keep your fingers crossed for me b/c I can't imagine how grumpy I'll be if I have to give up my yummy stuff. So the doctor pulled out the doppler & found the heartbeat right away, loud & clear :) She measured my fundal height and than she asked me if I was planning on taking off the four weeks prior to my due date. She said because my commute is nearly an hour each way that after 36 weeks it can go pretty quickly and it would be better not to have to drive so far away. I told her that if I have to I could take the time if she thought I should though I had already told my bosses that I would be working to the week before I was due. She said it would be best, so it looks like I'll be leaving work in 6 weeks!! This puts me in a REALLY tough spot...

Lately I've had a lot to think about because I started to look into daycare & we aretotally unable to afford it. I called and it seems that the price will be $200+ per week which is most of what I make in a month. Between that and what I would have to pay for insurance for the baby I would be bringing home about $400/month (unless my boss worked out a deal for the insurance & I paid less than $400/month). I been thinking a lot and talked to Kevin & it seems that I might have to actually leave my job.... for good.... and stay home with the baby. This is what I always wanted, but not to be in this situaton.. I would end up doing an in home daycare to make up for the money that I would not have. In NJ you do not have to be licensedwith the state unless you have 6+ kids in your house. I figured if I had 3 kids (plus my baby) at $175/week I could bring in $525/week and $2100/month. That is actually more take home per month than I make now... so that would be good right? Not to mention that I wouldn't have to pay the crazy gas prices (I drive 70 miles/day to work & back and it was over 100 miles on days when I had class!!) Except for the insurance issue everything sounds like it could work.. so that still leaves me with a problem.. what do I do about insurance? I am afraid that when I tell my boss that I will be giving notice that I will lose my short term disability, not to mention that they won't continue to pay for my insurance... I could always apply to the state for assistance. If this is the route I end up taking that might be what I have to do.. I am not happy to have to have this as an option but right now my main concern is keeping my house & taking care of my baby when she gets here in less than 3 months...

I decided that I needed to tell my doctor what my situation is because up until now she didn't know. She was just telling me how I need to lower my stress levels with the traffic and long commute (for those of you not from NJ the traffic here is soo terrible you could end up sitting in traffic for more than an hour just to go 30 miles down the road... I do it everyday Monday through Friday and I'm not even going with traffic) and I know my stress levels have been through the roof lately, so with Kevin there I started to tell my doctor about our financial situation & that I am trying to figure out what I will do at work and if I will even return at all. I figured she needed to know the amount of stress I am facing right now and know that the commute is the least of my worries right now. She seems so concerned. She automatically offered to help me find a job at the 3 hospitals in our area (I do medical billing and have about 5 years experience). She said she's pretty sure that she could help me find something and the hospital benefits are really good and free also, not to mention the pay would probably be better than what I am making now. She also offered to help get Kevin's name out there to find him something too. I really appreciate that she was so eager to help, but at the same time I am so embarrassed. It feels terrible to be in such a sad situation. I just hope something works out...

So on our way home Kevin says he has something to tell me... apparently his father called him today and told him he wants to help us because he knows that our financial situation is so bad. I do not like being 'bailed out'. We are adults with a baby on the way. Is it wrong to get help? Well... this is what he is offering... he wants to actually take a home equity loan out on his house and give us $35,000. Immediately I started crying. That is A LOT of money!! I don't know what to do. We are SO broke. We have no money. I am terrified that after all the work that we did to buy this house and establish ourselves that we are going to have to leave because things have taken such a horrible turn. We are so lucky that we have family like Kevin's dad and mom who want to and are actually able to offer us things like that, but I don't really know if I feel comfortable doing that. I asked Kevin and he agreed it was a lot and he didn't know either but he didn't really see a lot of other options. How would we even BEGIN to pay that back? They've always been ready and able to help us if we really need it and unfortunately in the 8 years (next month) that I've been with Kevin he's had some bad luck with jobs and put us in a few "tough" spots, but this is the worst it has ever ever EVER been...

Wait, let me just say that I am not telling you guys this to make you feel bad or to drum up sympathy b/c I know that compared to other people we have it pretty good... we are not sick or unhealthy, we have a healthy baby girl growing inside me, we have family that loves us...... I am just trying to put it all on the table and figure things out. I find this blog is the best place for me to just get it out. Kevin doesn't read it & neither does any of his family or anyone else that knows me (excluding my little sister). I don't want to be the bitchy blog girl or bring anyone down, I just need to clear my mind and see things how they are. I am sorry if this is a terrible blog :( Trust me, I'm not even sitting here sad! I'm not crying or depressed, I'm just confused. I don't really know what my life holds for me in the next few months and I need to figure out which path my husband and I are going to take for our baby.

Looking back at what I just spent all that time typing I don't want to bring anyone down (including myself~ it is a weekend after all!!) so now I have to sit back & let myself think. I started reading Marley & Me by John Grogan and so far it's great. The baby is kicking so hard that my laptop is jumping all over the place! I think it might be time to sit and relax for a little while. If you actually read all this depressing and confusing garbage I really appreciate it. Any advice or comments would be appreciated, just please keep it nice (not that anyone ever doesn't). I'm just really super sensitive now.. Thanks

~Kristina

Monday, Monday... or wait, it's Tuesday!

Ever notice how when you take a day off you get all sorts of mixed up? I keep thinking that it's Monday even though I know it's Tuesday. I should be happy tomorrow is Wednesday & the week is 1/2 way over but I just can't seem to get this Monday feeling off me.

I had a fairly eventful weekend starting out on Friday with finding out the results of my 1 hour glucose test... I need to take it again! My doctor's office said there was a 'lab error' and now I need to go sit at the lab and drink the glucola drink and wait the hour before they draw my blood. It is really an inconvenience, especially b/c I have a lot going on lately on the weekends and truthfully I don't want to go sit at the lab for an hour! I didn't do anything wrong & so it is kinda sucky to have to do it over again.

Saturday my mom & little sister came over to help paint the nursery. My sister had never painted before so she helped me prime the trim around the door and the closet door while my mom worked on airbrushing clouds on the ceiling. She had some trouble with the airbrush so she wasn't able to finish, but I think it'll look great once it's done. My mom's friend Luba also sent over some clothes from her little girl who is 3ish I think now. There are some really cutes clothes in there and I can't wait to dress up Baby Bacon in her little outfits. My mom also gave me a book on breastfeeding for new mothers.

Sunday Kevin & I went to the Englishtown fleamarket to advertise his business and see if he could drum up any leads. He and I were up late Friday night working on a display board that actually turned out really nice. Sunday we were up early and out of the house by 7 am. We were at the fleamarket by 8 am and he had his first lead by 10 am. It was a beautiful day and we were in and out of the sun. I did a lot of crocheting and had a great time but I got a really bad sunburn! Even Kevin who is 1/2 spanish (his mother is from Honduras) got sunburned on his face & blistered on his nose- his first bad burn ever!! My burn is terrible on the sides of my neck and on my arms all the way down to the tops of my hands (I was wearing a tshirt and jeans! nothing that even exposed me very much!).

When I woke up Monday I hadn't slept very much b/c I was so sore and couldn't sleep during the night so I got up and called out, hence the reason I am all screwy on what day it is. I made a website up for the business. If you want to take a look and let me know what you think here's the link: KK Custom Baths. I think it came out pretty nice. I know I was never really "for" his having a business but I can't be against it now.. we are really needing some kind of an income & he has not been able to get a new job yet. It was also getting really hard arguing and fighting with him constantly- I just couldn't deal with the extra stress.

Today I went to work :-p and we just got back from my first lamaze class! I can't believe that I'm already 29 weeks pregnant!! The class was really small & there were actually only 3 other couples there. It was pretty interesting though I think Kevin was kinda bored. We did mostly talking about birth and what it will be like. Than we watched 2 actual births (OUCH!) and finally laid down with our pillows and blankets and did a sort of meditation. The idea seems to be that if I can focus and relax during labor it will be more bearable. I hope so b/c it looked pretty uncomfortable and painful in those videos!! Our next class is next Tuesday and it ought to be interesting to say the least :) This Sat we also have classes at the hospital; we'll be going to Baby Basics which is a parenting class for new parents and than Breastfeeding. It's a full day & we'll be there from 9 am to 5:30 pm! I just can't believe that we are already getting this close to having our baby!!!

Well, I better get going. If this doesn't make a ton of sense I'm sorry, I'm watching tv and talking to Kevin while I'm typing, not to mention Baby Bacon in kicking up a storm! LOL!! Night!

~Kristina

What type of amusement park ride are you?

FYI, I am

See what amusement park ride you are.

I just had to do that since I'm in the process of catching up on everyone's blogs & it caught my eye on Christina's.

Yea! It's official! I'm on my summer break from school. I am really happy. The next time I walk into that building I will be a MOMMY . Tonight is the first night in months that I've been able to come home & put on comfy clothes & not worry about getting a paper done, reading a chapter, or studying for a test. It's like the world has been lifted from my shoulders. This was my first year at this University after transfering in from a community college. It was really hard and I don't remember ever feeling so stressed at the other school, but it just makes me feel so rewarded to be done & know I am one year closer to being an elementary school teacher .

This was a pretty nice week for me. I got a haircut on Monday for the first time in months! I've been letting it grow out (it used to be pixie short!). I made a big decision & actually got bangs! I haven't had them in years & I really like how they look. Last time I had them I think I was in high school & looking back that had to have been forever ago

On Tuesday I went down to my little brother's school (also my old middle school) for a concert. My chorus teacher, Dr. Sezer, was retiring after 39 years! She was wonderful & I actually had her from the 5th grade on. She taught me how to sing & helped me practice and audition for a lot of honors choruses over the years. She was really excited that I went & I even sang with the choir as an alumni. It was a lot of fun. Kevin & I drove down & my mother, sister, & little brother all went too. I think my mom took some pictures so I'll have to post what I have when I get a chance.

I know I have a lot to post about but Will & Grace just came on & I wanna work on the blanket I'm crocheting for the baby. Hope everyone is well & I'll try to get back in blogging mode.

~Kristina