I have such great internet friends :)

I want to thank all of you guys for being so supportive and listening to my stress filled rants and vents during this stressful time. I think it is so nice to get such great comments and feedback from everyone. It makes me feel really good that you all listen to me and I just want you to know I appreciate it so much! Like Brittny said, it stinks that we all live so far apart b/c sometimes I think how cool it would be if we could all just go out for some drinks or dinner? That could be fun!

As usual I've had a stressful and busy week. On Saturday Kevin & I had our baby basics class and breastfeeding class. I had a lot to think about but I really wanted to be able to enjoy and get the most out of these classes so I "forgot" about everything for the day. The baby basics class was from 10 am -1 pm and we both really liked it a lot. We were given little baby dolls and taught to swaddle, diaper, and hold the baby as well as how to take care of the umbilical stump, how to know if she's eaten enough, bathing, and just basic care of newborn. All that it really managed to do was make me walk out of there & want my baby now! LOL It was pretty funny to watch Kevin with the doll though. He's such a "manly man" that I think he felt a little embarrassed even though everyone else was doing the same things. I've actually never seen him in the 8 years that we've been together, OMG 8 years already!?!, hold a baby~ even a fake one lol. It was cute. I can't wait to see him hold our little girl. It's really exciting. We had a little break in between classes so we went home since we live so close and had lunch before heading back to the breastfeeding class. That one went from 2:30 pm - 5:30 pm but we actually got out a little early (at like 5ish). The class had only 3 women in it, including me, and Kevin! I was surprised that no other men decided to come and support their wives. Kevin knows how important it is to me and knew it was best to be there. The teacher was the same woman that taught our first class that morning and she was VERY nice. Kevin got teased quite a bit since he was the only man there, but he did really well. I could tell he was bored even though you'd think the topic of boobs would keep him interested. All in all I was really glad that we took those classes and that I've learned as much as I did in them. I want my baby now though LOL :)

Sunday was my first Mother's Day! Kevin surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a really sweet card. I got a call from my MIL too saying that she went crazy at Kohl's and bought a bunch of clothes for the baby. My shower is coming up (it's a surprise so I don't know when...) so I told her to wait but she can't. Honestly I'm surprised that she has held off this far. This is her first actual grandchild since neither of her other children have kids. Kevin's dad has grandkids from the children from his previous marriage but they aren't close to them, so he's extremely excited too. At this point I'm just glad to accept whatever I get from them- it is nice to have the help and to know they love the baby already.

Tuesday we went to our 2nd lamaze class. I have to admit that I'm pretty disappointed with this one. Maybe it's the instructor though... she is SO boring. I feel like we are back in elementary school. Every time we come in she has us do work out of the book; crossword puzzles, word finds, blah blah blah! You'd think that we would do a lot of practice learning the breathing techniques and massage techniques, but we spend most of the class listening to her read from the book and than the last 20 mins of class is actually practice. Kevin was killing me b/c I know he's not so interested in it either. It's not his fault and not that he's not supportive because he really is... it's just we actually dread going to this class on Tuesdays. The three hours go sooo slowly. I just hope that I've gotten enough out of this class to make it through labor with out killing myself lol. I do plan on having some medication but I'd like to try to go as long as I can with out it. Once I get an epidural I'm stuck in bed and who knows how long that would be since they slow down labor. It's so scary and the more I learn about it I think the more scared it get!

So you are all probably wondering what, if any, decision I've decided as far as the money issue/child care/job issue goes. I talked to my boss on Monday & told her that I don't think I'll be able to come back to work after my leave. I explained to her the financial reasons and that I just can't afford to work there anymore. She was very supportive and understanding & said she knows I just have to do what is right for my family. She is a young (28) single mom too so she understands being in bad situations and having to do things that are so difficult. I cried a little and apologized a lot. As much as I sometimes dislike my job, I've been there for 3 years this August and it's hard to make such a major decision. Kevin and I have talked and I'm thinking that once I go over all of our finances and have a better idea of what kind of debt we are in that we might take some money from his parents to cover a few bills and we will probably be getting rid of his truck since we can' afford the payments. It looks as though I will be starting my own in-house daycare after the baby comes. I'd like to try and wait until she is about 3 months old before I expose her to so many kids, not to mention it would give us more time to get the house ready for all those kids... so let me just say that I am terrified of what the future might hold. I am going to start preparing myself to register myself with the state as a daycare provider so that everything can be legal and I can do it the right way.

Ok, well, I better go. Dateline is on and I have to watch it. These crazy guys on "To Catch a Predator" need to go to jail!!! Hope everyone else is well :)

~Kristina